Seven

7 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1) Go skydiving.
2) Fall head over heals for someone and vice versa.
3) Travel throughout Europe.
4) Take an RV around the USA.
5) Get friends together for a really good vacation (non-standard trip).
6) Make a difference in someone's life.
7) Hope someone can make a difference in my life.

7 THINGS I CAN DO:

1) Cook a mean lamb chop and lasagna (separately)
2) Make people smile
3) Be a really good listener
4) Keep a secret
5) Kiss really well (been told so)
6) Be a good friend
7) Be spontaneous

7 THINGS I CAN'T DO

1) Whistle.
2) Crack my own back.
3) Speak a foreign language.
4) Trust easily.
5) Drive a stick.
6) Fly (not yet anyway).
7) Quit my job.

7 THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO SOMEONE

1) Masculine
2) Smart
3) Muscular/Athletic build
4) Ambitious
5) Funny
6) Hairy
7) Tall

7 THINGS THAT I SAY OFTEN

1) Right (or as Pablo says, “Reigh”)
2) He-He-Hello
3) WHAT?
4) Love ya.
5) What's your name again? (just kidding).
6) Your nuts.
7) Well, let me know if you want my help.

7 CELEBRITY CRUSHES

1) Dennis Quaid
2) Jason Statham
3) Aiden Shaw
4) Tino Martinez
5) Edward Norton
6) Marat Safin
7) Christian Bale

Funny Papers

Arrest Me Officer

Now for those friends of mine who live in the Garden State, well I think I need to be coming to your cities and getting in some trouble. Well, as long as they promise that one of these fine officers, the men please, will be coming to make me spread eagle, do a thorough pat search and then do as they may.

Go check out the site and purchase a calendar. I always knew that there were bodies like those under those uniforms.

A Couple of Lines that Fit Me of Late.

"I wish I could quit you."

" I'm not sure what I want, other than to stop missing him so bad. And I haven't figured out how to do that just yet."

Not sure why I am writing these down right now but it is on my mind. Think it helps actually. These are exactly how I have been feeling for a while now.

Ms Kim Goes Bye-Bye

Well, Lil Kim I guess I should say.
We shall see you in about 9-10 months I assume.
Think of this as your Hustle & Flow.
You can come out of there with a good cd, maybe two.
Then again I am not sure if you write your stuff or not.

For those not in the know, Lil Kim starts her perjury sentence of 1 year and 1 day.
So I guess we won't see her in 9-10 months. Damn, girl better work while your in there.

Did I just post a dirty picture or is that shadow I see?

Problem Solved

Why does it seem that everything that I am loving lately is so remotely stupid and funny in the funniest way?

I have found the problem to all our problems, well at least the Maury Povich, Ricky Lake and of course Jerry Springer problems.....Extreme Dodgeball.

This show is so serious in the physicality of things. These people want to take off heads, even though a hit to the head doesn't count towards knocking a person out of the game. It just hurts like hell. Watch this show, listen to these balls hitting the wall, these guys have been working out.

Not really the hot types in the game, more the slightly couch pototo type. You know, the ones that have about 10-15 extra pounds from watching the game on tv. That didn't come out right, I would remove it if I allowed myself to edit these posts. Oh well.

Anyway catch it on the Game Show Network. You will go back for more.

LOL

What the fark is it with me and these damn light night posts? The world must be thinking that I have been out partying and all this fabulousity has been happening that I just can post at 2:31am. Well it hasn't. Did nothing tonight but sit here, talk to some friends in Europe and watch some stupid tv.

There are some things that I want to share with you though. Some you might have to do a little reading to gain more information some are rather straightforward and stupid funny.

One is this Quicktime movie I found. Anyone who has spent anytime in the NYC gay ghetto will either love it or hate it. Click here for what I think is a good laugh.

The second is a piece that was written regarding a certain high school-ish situation that is going on between some bloggers, one of which I read, the other is someone who apparently is too PC for words. I have mentioned Rocco on here before because his writings are funny, stupid, crazy and very, very, very un-PC. If this place isn't for being stupid and human than what is it for.

Third is similar to the second. I mentioned the Kathy Griffin: Life on the D-List show in my most recent posts. In one episode she talks about Rene Zelleweger in her act describing her as a “puffy coke whore”. In a later episode Rene sends Kathy, personally, a huge/expensive flower arrangement. The whole episode Kathy wonders what does this mean? Does it mean....lets be friends? Don't fuck with me? Killing you with kindness?
By the end of the episode they had figured that Rene had the upperhand in the situation that was once non-existant.

Just sharing.

Oh, while I am sharing tell me how to get through the movie, “Die, Mommy, Die”. I love Charles Busch but this movie is nothing like “Psycho Beach Party”. That movie rocks. An all-time fave.