Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Break Up

How many times have we told ourselves, “NEVER AGAIN”?

Be it getting hurt, hurting someone, smoking, drinking, cheating, being a mean person, being too nice of a person(that hurts the most actually) because you know that they will all come back to bite you in the ass.

Well, I opened up again. I really opened up to someone who I thought I would really be able to grow with. Someone I loved quick and hard. I gave all and he “thought” he couldn't/didn't give enough.

God, it pisses me off when someone thinks they know what I am thinking, what I need and what I am not getting from something.

I have been in NYC for 11 years, pretty much my whole adult life and I have grown hard, very hard except when it comes to love. I will always give it a chance. It is the one thing that can make us truly happy when the rest of our life may be going to hell in a hand basket.

11 years of opening up and then closing back up when I learned that I wasn't right or that he wasn't right for me.

Well, like I said it has happened again. Not going to rehash what went on, because that isn't fair to him since I have spoken about him on here a lot. But I am hurt more now than I was when he “EMAILED” me. Yes, we spoke on the phone right after that email but only because I was “beyond” pissed just for the fact it was an email. You can understand that, right?

Well, in my dramatic sense of putting song to situation here is what is loaded into my ex's gift of an ishuffle to me:

Fighter: Christina Aguillera – No, he wasn't that bad but it is more about me learning from the situation and lifting my head and being stronger from it.

Cry Baby, Take Another Piece of My Heart: Melissa Etheridge/Joss Stone – Just because this song lets you rip your guts out with that primal scream. Plus it makes many points between the two songs.

How Do You (Mend a Broken Heart): Rev. Al Greeene – Can't be more self-explanatory that that.

It will hurt but I won't stay mad, that just isn't me.

The one thing that will take time again is feeling like I can open up to someone and trust them with my feelings again.

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How I Spent the Afternoon.