just wanted to cry and you can't?
Ever feel like you just don't remember how?
Lately I think I just can't anymore. I have been let down a number of times lately, just loving/hating my life, being happy with what I have/wanting more out of myself but you would think at least once I something would come out of me. At least a glassy eye; nothing.
I know I am incredibly guarded at all times and I am the one people honestly love to be around because I make you feel good about yourself, but I am starting to think that being that person really does take its toll on me personally. I don't know why. Maybe it is just the giving; what is really left for me.
Now I am not saying it is anyone's fault but my own. In the phrasing of Vincent from last season's Project Runway, " I don't know but it gets me off". I do like to make people feel good.
Maybe it is I am just saturated with what people say is Real NY. NYC is so real. NYC is about as real as Los Angeles, except in Los Angeles people will tell you like it is, not pretend and lie to your face. I prefer straight forward. Tell me, don't make me wait. Don't make me hear it from other people.
Life is not fun right now.
God. I just want to cry.
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